It took me about 10 tries to get this batch of envelopes printed for work. Mail merged envelopes that don't fit into the suggested printed margins suck. And for some reason, I kept putting a batch of envelopes in the printer the wrong way, thus printing it wrong, and having to start all over. And then there was the word that wouldn't print. Aside from the obvious pathetic-ness of my task, I just could NOT get it together. In fact, I've been unable to get it together at work this whole week. My boss had to tell me to pay more attention to details -- twice.
My inability to print envelopes made me quite upset. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head, ranging from self-loathing, "If I can't print envelopes, I sure as hell can't pass the bar," to "Who freakin' cares if the address is upside down. It'll still get there." But mostly, I've just been mildly depressed as I sat feeding envelopes into the printer.
A low-grade apathy has settled over me at this point. I need fear, adrenaline, and motivation in equal parts flowing through me the next month -- not an utter lack of caring. Yesterday, I watched Girls Next Door on DVD and thought that maybe I should've just died my hair blonde, gotten some plastic surgery, and dabbled in some acting/modeling/body painting career until Hef found me. That $150K into law school could have been directed into something much more lucrative, and a lot less depressing.
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2 comments:
Are you reading my mind?!?! Seriously!! There has to be something less depressing than this. (Note: The body painting? Love it!! Just think of the mural of say, the Pacific Ocean that they could paint on my ass!) I really do love my job, but my big project this afternoon involves a rendezvous with a copy maching older than I am.
Having said that, I am here to tell you not to fear!! You are going to be a kick ass lawyer and you do NOT need to know how to deal with any type of office machine. I could blog for DAYS about ridiculous attorneys that either can't send a fax, or an email or print on letterhead. So, no worries, your tree-massacre will not affect your chances on the bar....hee hee...;-)
Further, I know exactly how you feel. I was reviewing a brief this morning written by an attorney that 1. graduated law school the same time I did. 2. passed the bar the same time I was failing it and 3. is way younger than me. I call it the Playskool brief, as it appears to be written by a kindergardener......THIS JOKER PASSED THE BAR AND I CAN'T?!?!?!?!?!
Sorry about the long comment; I may have overcaffeinated this morning.....
Love,
The Princess of Darkness and Anger
Wow. What kind of a club is this that we all find ourselves in? And what kind of a state of mind? I tend to "big picture" everything and right now I'm looking at the lot of us and noticing that we're all in the same predicament. It's good to know that I am not the only one suffering from the stress. This thing affects a person completely; mind, body, and soul. And it's not a positive effect. Makes one wonder if this isn't the reason so many lawyers appear to be insane. Blah.
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