The Plan

Micromash: I've heard great things about it, and though I loathe the thought of shelling out $800+ for the MBE review, I loathe the thought of failing even more.

BarBri long CA outline for the new subjects. *I know where you can get a photocopy of the new subjects for $100 if anyone's interested! =)

Compilation of the past essays and answers into a ginormous binder. Plan to go through and list the topics tested. I will then break down these topics into concise rule statements for each and that will be my "cheat sheet." I will, of course, also actually do these essays!

Outlines/Flashcards. Fortunately (unfortunately?) I already have these. I need to make new ones for the new subjects using the information listed above.

PMBR lectures on iPod. I hate these. I always think I'll listen to them in the car, but then I find myself switching to Pussycat Dolls instead.

I think I have it in me to do it one last time. I had prepped myself for this, knowing that Feb was not a good month for me (or Jan for that matter) so it was no where near the devastation of last time. But sometimes, I find myself incredulous that one year later, I'm still taking this exam. It's a tough pill to swallow. However, I look at it like an extra year of school. It's like med school, which is also 4 years! And at least I get to work and make some money during it, right? So it's better than 3rd year...kinda.

I plan on working about 20 hours a week, because: (1) I need the money (2) I think it'll be good to get out (3) I tend to whittle away hours doing absolutely nothing productive anyway, and maybe I'll study more if I know that this is the only time I have to do it! I'll take the last couple weeks completely off though.

I've registered with CA Bar, Micromash, and looking into hotel reservations. Any recommendations in San Diego within the SD Concourse center?

Eh.

Surprisingly, I don't feel that bad. I had anticipated it back in February. What with the computer malfunction, marriage problems, and various other problems going on at that time, it would've been a miracle. Plus, everyone I know seems to have failed. It was more difficult than July, so maybe we were all taken by surprise a bit.

I'm in a much better place now, and have psyched myself up for Round 3 for months now (although holding on to the small hope of passing). In July, I failed by 10. Maybe this time I failed by 5. Inch by painful inch, I'm getting there.

Congratulations to all those who passed!! And for those who didn't, misery loves company...

The end of a journey

Finally. It's all going down in 8 hours. After months (really, years) of work, it comes down to this. I was kinda okay this week, and even managed to forget about today for periods of time. It's not the same as last time. I'm so busy this weekend with in laws in town, weddings to go to, and a rehearsal dinner pretty much minutes after results are released that I think I'll just keep going. No drowning myself in alcohol or making phone calls like last time! I don't even think many of my family or friends know that today is the day! Except husband, who pretends it's a day like any other day and knows better than to ask any questions before I'm ready to tell him. =)

Well, where ever you are and what ever you're doing tonight at 6:00pm, know that if the result is not as expected, roughly 50% of all of us are feeling the exact same thing at the exact same time. And if the result is good...well, then you hardly need any advice from me on the ecstacy you will be feeling!

In a message repeated across CA bar exam blogs everywhere today, good luck everyone! And remember: It may take a few times, but odds are heavily in our favor that we will eventually pass. In this case, it's all about the destination, not the journey!

Nerves of Steel

It's been forever since I've written! But fear not -- I have diligently been reading everyone else's blogs! Since my last post, I've moved and started a new job, and have had no private access to internet. Although I know it's unlikely, I'm afraid that somehow, they'll track me down at work so I'm afraid to log on!

But now, I have internet at my own place. It's great. I've been working for about a month now doing general counsel work for small to mid sized companies. No billable hours, no firm, and a variety of different work ranging from real estate, trusts, business, and doing all my own administrative work! I'm even answering phones. It's a medley of stuff, but the pay is good and my hours are super chill...loving that! Will be especially useful should I have something major taking up my time in the next couple of months. God forbid.

I'm actually okay. I'm prepared for the worst case scenario, and these past months have taught me that there are more important things in life and at the end of my life, this is just one test. A test that I can take until I pass it. A test that is absolutely passable. I came so close last time that I am certain that I'm perfectly capable of passing this thing; if not this time, then the next. Yes, it's embarassing and expensive and humbling, but I can keep my job and study at the same time. I have a plan, and I'm in control of my life should this test decide to re-emerge in my life.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying my slew of television shows:

- Grey's Anatomy. Don't even get me started on the absymal season finale.
- Ugly Betty. Always fun, always uplifting!
- Desperate Housewives. Still waiting to see the finale!
- Dancing With the Stars. Please, Apolo, win!
- America Idol. Team Jordin...
- Next PCD. UGH. Asia?! That girl is soooo ghetto. I was all for Chelsea or Melissa... SUCH a disappointment. It also felt like a slutty high school talent show kinda...but I still watched it.

Just in case you think I watch this much tv, I actually only watch the top three and skim the rest. The rest of my time has been spent furniture shopping. I've developed a taste for DWR, Noguchi tables, and Pablo lighting. Not good for the credit cards!

Things I'm looking forward to:
- Harry Potter Book 7 on July 21. I've pre-ordered from Amazon and can't wait!
- Pirates 3. Will probably end up watching some copy from China.
- Weddings galore. Time to shop for dresses!
- Wearing my Chanel sunglasses that I got for 50% off that I've lusted after forever.
- Getting a tan at my new pool.
- Dancing and working out so that I can be the next PCD!

Life is good.