No!

I don't think I passed. I can't believe it. I'm glad the waiting is over, but I'm feeling pretty miserable. This has NOT been a good year.

I hope many of you passed.

Feeling Sick

The anxiety is going to kill me. I tried to put it out of my mind all day, and now it's about 40 minutes until results...I've decided to just let the craziness flow free.

As Last Call said, third time's the charm!

A special good luck to my fellow bloggers out there, especially Grand Poobah, Blondie, Last Call, and Richard...your blogs kept me sane!!

How are you going to spend your day?

I (unfortunately) remember this day well. It felt surreal last time. I went to spa, got a massage, and tried to relax. It didn't work.

So this time, I'm not going to a spa. What's the point? I'm too anxious. Best to just go when I can thoroughly enjoy it, which is NOT now. So, in the morning, I'm taking the day off and going to get my teeth whitened after sleeping in as long as possible. I'm going to try Brite Smile. Then, I may do some boutique shopping along Robertson followed by yoga and running. I think subconsciously, the plan is to work on my physical appearance via beauty treatments, clothes, and exercise so as to have an alternative (aka become a stripper) should that-which-cannot-be-named happen. If using the brain doesn't work, I'm going to have to resort to baser measures.

This is a new low.

I don't even know what kind of nonsense I'm spewing. I've been like this all week, particularly today. I actually just want to shuffle out in my pjs to Blockbuster in the morning, rent some sappy DVDs, cover my windows, order a pizza, and zone out in front of my tv. I literally don't want to do anything except curl in my bed, eat, and watch tv. Tomorrow, I will be able to function again because this limbo will finally be OVER.

How are you guys holding up?

The Pass Rate for July 2007 in CA is 56.1%!!

OMG OMG OMG.

The pass rate is already out. You can check it out at http://calbar.ca.gov/calbar/pdfs/admissions/Pass_StatsSummary.pdf

The pass rate is higher than it has been since July 2001...this is either fantastic or dismal, depending on what end of the spectrum you end up on. I can't believe that these people have the results all ready, our letters printed out and ready to go, and yet....we have to wait until Friday at 6:00 to find out our fate.

As it is, I can't function this week. I'm exhausted and my eye is constantly twitching. I wish they'd just post it as soon as they're done grading, as they obviously are if they're sitting around playing with their calculators and compiling pdfs of stats.

Ahhh....if there's one thing I've learned this year, it's that we are a resilient group.

They're Baaaaaack....

I missed my old friends, Bar Exam Nightmares. The other day, I had my first nightmare about the exam since, well, the exam. Something about being out with friends, desperately needing to check the internet to find out if I passed, and being unable to say anything or actually check because I didn't want everyone to pay attention to whether I passed. It turns out I didn't, and I woke up in confused terror.

No matter how much I say that I'm at peace with this (because really, the first time you find out you didn't pass is the most terrible), I dread that feeling of complete despair that comes in the minutes following the news that one did not pass. It passes and you bounce back to pragmatic optimism, but those times are so dark that I'm actually scared.

For me, I just want to freakin' KNOW. One way or the other, so I can move on with my life. I think I've said it before, but it's the limbo that kills me. It makes me feel better if I can just make a plan for the next few months. I've already planned to take next Friday off from work, and so has the other law clerk anticipating results. We've agreed not to talk about it and to not check each other's names on the pass list. I think we're going to pretend like this hell never happened.

May the days pass quickly...

Honestly!

There is nothing going on. I'm starting to feel a little sick and once November hits, I will be in agony until D-day, at which point, I will be better. Pass or fail, at least I'll KNOW. This limbo is the absolute worst!!

I've been working at a different law firm literally minutes from my house since the exam. I'm liking it much better! I get to do a lot of research and writing, and also have client interaction. It's been very good practical experience for me and I'm seriously loving the commute. I'm working about 35 hours a week, which is also great, with sporadic 4 day weeks. Kinda nice. Since I'm in this limbo, I'm not working lawyer hours! I'll only work lawyer hours once I'm an actual lawyer!!

My fellow bloggers have said the same thing, it's hard to blog when there's nothing going on pertaining to the bar! I'm actually still enjoying the feeling of coming home from work and having no studying to do. I absolutely relish this!

Some peripheral things going on...
- Watching Planet in Peril on CNN mixed with Kimora Lee's Fab Life show. That about sums me up.

- Reading Love in the Time of Cholera. This book has been around for awhile, is being made into a movie, and has been hailed by Oprah as amazing! The greatest love story of all time, despite the 600+ affairs this man has. This, I gotta know. ;) And for those who've seen it, this is also the "fateful" book in the movie, Serendipity! Love that movie.

- Went to Vegas and had way too much alcohol. Also lost much money. My throat is sore and my nostrils and pores are filled with smoke. Ick.

- Currently loving Britney's "Gimme More" song and dancing to it in the car. I know, I know, the VMA performance was a wreck. The song has grown on me and though it doesn't have the deepest lyrics (uh...gimme gimme on repeat?), it's got a great beat to dance to!

- Just bought Mario Badescu's famous Drying Lotion for use on a massive pimple on my chin. This stuff has a cult following and it's my first time trying it! It's supposed to be incredible, so I'll let you know how that goes. =)

- Liking the fall season because there's stuff to watch on tv. I tend to watch it online now. I've seen Samantha Who, which is suprisingly funnier than it looks, and Private Practice, in which the people aren't that attractive and lacks chemistry but I watch because I'm curious about what happens to Addison.

Like I said, not much going on! Plan on watching Elizabeth in the theater soon, and going out on Saturday for Halloween. Other than that, just watching the clock ticking.

And you know what? I refuse to believe I failed, but I am prepared for the eventuality that I may have to take this test again. It's been a tough year, and I will cut myself a break. At this point, the part of the exam I'm most confident about are the PTs...I'm hoping for 65s on both...and maybe it'll pull me through!

Hope everyone else is hanging in there!

Fastest Bar Exam Results...

It's been forever since I last wrote! Alas, much drama in the land of me, but...still chugging along. =) At least I'm working!

For the most part, I (like everyone else) try not to think about the bar. This is difficult when I am working in a law firm and constantly reminded of it, but I usually manage. It helps to have other distractions. However, I've given some thought to taking the bar exam in other states, and possibly even two states come February if CA doesn't pull through for me this time. I'm considering moving out of the state anyway, and this way, I'd have some options. Anyway, I can always practice certain niches of law in CA as long as I'm licensed somewhere.

Sadly, when weighing my options, my primary concern has been how long before exams results are released!!! I mean, seriously, I just CANNOT WAIT ANYMORE. It's torture. North Carolina seems to take about a month, and Colorado about two and a half months. I can't seem to find a comprehensive list, so does anyone else have any stats?

This is what it's come down to -- four years of college, three years of law school, and now, I can't wait a couple extra months. This process breaks you, it really does! =)

Eat. Pray. Love.

I just ordered almost $100 worth of books online, all non-law related with the exception of one, and that doesn't count because it's basically an account of how sucky law school was. =) I love to read, and before you think I'm this esoteric intellectual, please note that due to years of intense schooling, my reading for fun books consist of romance novels, chick lit, and the occasional Oprah's Book Club. But as I used to tell my mom when she refused to buy me Sweet Valley High and bought me Grapes of Wrath, "Hey. Reading is reading!" Which I truly believe. English is a hard language to grasp, really. I don't know about you, but I never remember rules of grammar and go with "what sounds right." And that not only works, but ends up being in touch with current lingo and sounds more natural.

Thus, this blog will now include brief reviews of books I've read. I know many of you love to read, and it's often difficult to find the gems amongst the trash (although the line is not distinct sometimes - a person's trash is another person's treasure...). As I've mentioned, I just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

I really liked it. It's broken up into 109 chapters -- 108 is the magic number for harmony or something, and used as the number of beads in a meditation necklace, with one extra outside of the necklace loop. She's broken it up into 3 (another magic number, the holy trinity, etc) chapters that talk about the 3 places she went to seek pleasure (Italy), prayer (india), and balance (Bali). The coincidences and the way the universe works in her life really reads like a fiction novel, made even more amazing in that this is, actually, non-fiction. Like I said, it's kind of Carrie Bradshaw meets yoga. I would highly recommend it for anyone who's ever felt anxious (hello, bar exam?!) about life and unsure of where your life is going (hello, bar exam results?!).

Step by step...

Whew! It's been a whirlwind weekend. Husband and I went away for the weekend to a wedding (seems we have 5-6 a year!) and every day was packed with people to see and things to do. SO nice to live like normal people and making plans without a great big cloud looming overhead!

I feel like a toddler taking her first steps in life these days...by that I mean that law school and the ensuing year has been fraught with tension, anxiety, stress, and uncertainty. You know what I mean. It's not regret so much as being, well, tired. I don't even know what I'm doing, and I find myself envying people who have regular, 9-5 jobs and a normal life. My life is defined by bursts of intense studying, months of worrying, and a yo-yo-ing career. Honestly, at this point, I crave routine and stablility.

I'd like to find some balance, and peace within myself. I've been reading a book by Elizabeth Gilbert called Eat. Pray. Love. and it's excellent. It was a NYT best seller and it's about a woman's pursuit of balance, love, and peace in her life. It's like Carrie Bradshaw finds yoga! But also very suitable for men to read. I'm looking for some good books to read these days, eating well, hanging out with friends, and watching movies. Rush Hour 3, anyone? =)

The Price of Looking Good

Ever find yourself getting used to seeing 9 year olds in Chanel sunglasses, drinking water bought at Sephora, and paying over $100 a month to join a gym? There's an overstimulation of the shallow here in LA. And after a while, you get somewhat desensitized. You don't realize that THIS JUST ISN'T NORMAL until, well, someone not from here tells you that it's not. Or when you've been out of the loop so long that you feel like you're not from around here and you get to see this world from a new perspective.

Ever since Those Days That Can't Be Named, I've been cautiously venturing out and meeting people. I have the week off work, and you know that with free time comes the spending of cash. Many of the meeting places with people are in shopping areas. Such is the nature of LA. I found myself buying a $15 deodorant and Beauty Water. I've also bought a lot of other things. And what I really want now is an Equinox gym membership. But at over $100 a month, it's a bit pricey...or is it?

I have an excellent gym in my apt complex, but it doesn't offer me classes, which I love. Do I need Mat Pilates, Yoga Glow, Boot Camp and Brand New Booty classes? And does it make sense that I'm sure to go to the gym more often if I pay so much for it? And really, considering how much people spend on cigarettes and Starbucks per month (none of which I do), isn't a mere $100 a month on my health and appearance justifiable?

Because really, after the post-bar blues, you at least want to look and feel fabulous. And in 100+ days, when results come out, you REALLY want to -- at LEAST -- look good.

Life is going on...

Well, my skin is getting better and I've had alcohol twice since the bar exam! In a lucky twist of fate, I don't have to return to work until Friday, so I've got some time to decompress and catch up on the details of my life that have been neglected for the past two months. I've packed my bar books away, unpacked everything, and have made a good start on organizing my place. Today, I'm going to do exciting things such as buy a rug, go to the grocery store, stop by the post office, return DVDs, and go to the gym!

My nesting instincts kick into full mode in these situations, when I need to have control over my life. I like to organize everything. I do believe that many eating disorders occur in situations like this, when people need to "control" something...not to fear, I will never have a problem eating!

Current Mood: Still trying to calm down, cautiously relieved, with periodic twists of anxiety.

Are we all happy yet?

I woke up this morning and did 50 PMBR questions before I realized I didn't have to anymore! Just kidding.

Just kidding!

I actually did wake up to thoughts of rule elements, and had a moment of the usual tiredness and grudging attempts to motivate myself though. And then that mood switched to jubilant gratefulness, and then back to a quiet despair. I don't do well post-bar exam, until weeks later and the memories subside. I'm not completely depressed, and VERY glad it's over, but I always feel very blah.

I didn't post yesterday because after the exam, I just wanted to get the hell out of there and I was driving back home for a couple of hours. I stopped briefly at home to upload my answers then went straight back out for a glass of wine. This glass of wine has been on my thoughts for the past 2 months. I had 2, and the bartender gave me a shot, and I was done for. It was weird being amongst people who had no idea what the bar exam was about. And again, I realized that for most of the world, this exam means NOTHING. Nice.

One particularly funny moment comes to mind when this guy asked me my name. I tried to ignore him, but he kind of grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him. He asked again. I replied, "California is a community property state. All earnings during marriage are presumed to be..." HA! How funny is that? And I kept talking about rules! Every so often, one would spurt out, like a leak.

All right, on to Day 3 analysis. Again, I don't know. I never know. I'm never one of those people who walk out feeling good, and that's just because I really don't know! I'm sure I identified the subjects properly (yay, me) and seemed to have hit the major issues, but some rules were murky and analysis could have been shaky as well. I'm going to discuss what I wrote, and feel free discuss it. If you don't want to know, stop reading now.

Essay 4: Con Law/Crimes. I saw this one and a string of expletives almost came flying out of my mouth. Murder again. Free Speech AGAIN! WTF? WTF? WTF? It is painfully clear that these people are sick and M-E-A-N. But I forged on. I discussed murder, voluntary mansluaghter, involuntary manslaughter, and felony murder. Dismissed all of them, included felony murder because the underlying felony was a misdemeanor. Didn't discuss arson at all. I said that he didn't break the statute because of mistake. This is probably wrong, but I just remember thinking...if the law specifically prohibits only the burning of A, how can he be liable for burning B, unless the law includes intent (like knowingly)? Whatever. I thought he was funny and didn't want him to get in trouble. =) I then went into a full blown speech analysis, where I thought the meat of the points were. Content-specific, protected speech, strict scrutiny, it's illegal. It's like burning the flag. You're allowed to do it.

Essay 5: So gross. P sues S for specific performance. DISCUSS. Maybe P and S should talk it over at a day at the spa...maybe P should take S out for lunch! Have P and S discussed mediation? I mean, really! This could go everywhere! And it did. The bad thing about these problems is that it provides little guidance so you're looking everywhere, under every rock and in every crevice to spot issues. It also wreaks havoc on organization. The good thing is that everyone will be all over the place, so there's not going to be this strict standard you're held to if you fail to do what they've seen over and over again. I went into this with a element by element description of specific performance, the first of which was the validity of the contract. This was where I went into everything -- all the misrep/fraud, statute of frauds, offer/acceptance, consideration, promissory estoppel/detrimental reliance, accord and satisfaction, unclean hands, UCC, merchant (I said P was not, but am realizing it could go either way). My misrep rule was shaky. Something along the lines of, she misrepresented a material fact! And the other person relied on it! But not on purpose! I basically found there was no contract, and thus no remedy, but went on to describe what else was needed for SP if the court found there was a contract.

Essay 6: At first I smiled. And launched into my favorite little paragraph about CA is a CP state. The smile faded. It was weird. I went through it quickly. I had time to spare! I knew something was NOT right. Child support, separate debt, entitled to reimbursement. Education debt, separate, entitled to reimbursement. Law degree, community entitled to some of it applying the 10 year/other spouse gets an education too rule. I threw in a Lucas analysis of the joint checking account and quickly dismissed it doesn't apply because it's not SP funds in there. Goodwill. Always hated it and thought it was funky. I mean, it's not even a tangible thing. What the heck is it? But I put that the whole $3000 is not enforceable because W has a CP interest in it, she didn't agree to it, and the courts would look to other things when valuing it. Then I went into a Pereira/Van Camp analysis. I went with Pereira, but I should have chosen VC. But at least they're both in there. I know people disagree on this last part, but...I had time, so I put it in.

PTB: I love letters. I had nice letterhead. I even italicized the signature at the end. I'm hoping for design points. Oh, the content? I organized it by the three issues. First two were quick and based on the statutes. Last one, I organized it by statute and case precedent. I finished it on time, and was feeling really tired at the end.

And that was it. Note that I didn't discuss any new subjects at all, ever. I honestly didn't think of it, except in the Evidence q on Day 1, where I made the conscious decision not to include it. I udnerstand that people saw those issues yesterday, and I wish I threw them in there too. But hopefully, it was minor and maybe just "bonus" points. They called time, the room burst into applause, and I hit the road.

And by the way? NO CIV PRO. I was muttering rules on my way into the exam room and cramming that thing into my head all summer long. Can't believe it!

But it's aaaaallllll over now... I hope everyone enjoys their first day of freedom. I'm looking forward to hearing about your continued adventures as you try to re-assimilate into the normal world!

Day Two

Oh, who knows. It's so much easier to stress about Day 1 because I can nitpick, go over the notes, etc. With the MBEs, it's all a blur and much harder to remember what the heck happened. I thought PM was harder. I have no idea how people remember the MBEs in such detail and post them online. I remember last time, there were lists of like 50-75 questions, which is amazingly thorough.

I'm beat though. I have a headache and I can't stop eating! I don't eat breakfast because my stomach gets nervous in the mornings, so maybe it's okay? I don't know how to justify chicken, salad, a slurpee, Flaming Hot Cheetoes, a hot dog, and soon, a curry... I think it's the stress. I worked out yesterday because I was so freakin' sore and apparently, in my zombie like state, completely missed Blondie! She's a lovely lady with a rockin' French pedicure. =) It's good to see a friendly face around. Yesterday, I did end up going to Nordie's and it was weird being amongst the normal people. I felt like an intruder. I bought a YSL Touche Eclat lipgloss in number 11. It's a really great lipgloss -- long wearing, not sticky, simmery and that kool-aid punch look. I just needed to zone out for a bit. Then I went back and worked out, ate, and read over MBEs.

I'm going to say these are the issues to focus on for tomorrow: Civ Pro, with an emphasis on res judicata and collateral estoppel, Community Property, Remedies and Professional Responsibility. I'm also glancing through some Con Law Fed/State stuff and Agency stuff. I mean, Day 1 was all MBE subjects...we're bound to get CA tomorrow, no?

Everyone seems okay with Day 1. This probably means that the grading will be harder because people got the issues. Eh. I thought they were deceivingly straighforward until you tried to write about it, and then it got kind of funky because it was hard to organize. Also, what's interesting is that everyone I've met so far is a repeater...either I'm in the repeater section or February really sucked.

I'm seriously exhausted. I kinda took a nap after I got back because I just collapsed. I'm going to pick up my curry, read over my subjects and commit them to memory, and sleep. I may do a light workout.

One more day guys! Best of luck to everyone.

Day One

I need a massage. During the last hour, my head starting pounding and my neck and shoulders were killing me. Short of dry-swallowing my tension headache pills, I had to soldier as I was running out of time on the PT and NEEDED TO FINISH.

Lord. So do we wanna talk about this? I'm just gonna write down what I remember for the sake of my own recollection of this wonderful day. I don't talk about it with people at the bar exam because I don't want to subject anyone to a post-mortem that they don't want to do, so if you're one of those people, don't read on!

Essay 1: Property/Contracts. I wrote about tenancy (said it was periodic), duty to pay rent, breach of contract, duty to repair, quiet enjoyment...er...don't remember...

Essay 2: Torts. Products Liability with a funky Civ Pro twist. Surely we didn't need to talk about Civ Pro except to say that the motion should be granted or denied? Or God. So yeah..design defects, contributory negligence, comparative negligence, strict products liability analysis, negligence analysis, indemnification...

Essay 3: Evidence. Seemed scarily straight forward. Droned on and on about relevance, hearsay, exceptions, said one of the statements was nonhearsay (anyone else?) and I don't know...

PT A: Memo to the judge. It looked okay reading through it, and then when I started, I thought, "This is so broad!" What are the issues? Give me some guidance! But I muddled through and finished and said that the judge should rule against the motion based on my excellent, objective legal analysis. =)

I don't know know how people remember all the details afterwards. As you can see by my ramblings above, I barely remember what happened. And I'm doing my best to forget. I'm glad Day 1 is done. I think it's the hardest day, because like Richard said, anything goes. Day 2 is 6 subjects, Day 3 is narrowed down.

How do I feel? Murky. Everything is kind of murky. I'm gonna need to kick ass the next two days. Is it okay to feel depressed? Do people feel depressed after and still pass? I know they say they do, but I don't think it's true...I think deep down,they feel okay about it. I want to know about the people who, deep down in their bones, feel depressed and they still pass! =)

I'm sitting in the hotel main lounge, with free internet access. Blondie, if you're reading this, don't pay for it in your room! You can access it free in the lobby/bar area. Am debating hitting the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale because I feel like a zombie. Or partaking in a glass of wine. I haven't had wine in so long though, I'm afraid to start because I may not stop...

I hope everyone got through okay. May you all sleep well tonight and wake up bright-eyed and busy tailed for tomorrow!

Like trying to hold water in your cupped hands...

I'm afraid to shake my head too hard because some detail of law will fall out. I woke up today and tried to read through some MBE tips. I'm going to hit the gym downstairs while reading a "fun" book and do some light ellipticals, eat, pack, and head on over to the hotel. During the drive, I will risk an accident by going through my Hot Topics cheat sheets and attempting to hammer some details into my head.

I'll then check in, get settled, and meet up with Blondie. Followed by light review, relaxing again with "fun" book, hitting the Ambien, and in bed by 10:30.

Wouldn't it be nice if we had 2 days of testing? Then after tomorrow, we can say, "Oh, one more day!" I think it's psychological benefits would be monumental. ;) Anyway, to everyone out there who's read this blog, thanks for all your support and comments. It's been great having such acceptance and support from similarly situated people! You know as well as I do that it's difficult to find that in us law folks (i.e. law school!). This is my first and only blog, and I'm not one to share my dirty laundry, so it's been a very therapeutic experience for me. I really enjoyed following everyone else's blogs too -- I hope you'll all keep it up after the bar!

As for me, I'll try and post throughout the exam and will also continue posting afterwards. I think at this point, we can only look forward and not beat ourselves up about what we "should have" done. We have to do the best we can with what we have now. And most of all, let's keep this in perspective. We have our family, health, and our friends...passing the bar is a bonus.

That being said, let's rock this thing!

Performance Tests...

Man, these suck. I plan on looking them over, but I haven't done anything substantive. After all, I've taken this exam before, I've done full-length PTs. I usually do well on one with a 75 and screw up the other...

I was wondering if anyone has the point break down from the NCBE for the February 2007 PTs and if they'd be willing to email that to me? You can contact me at the email listed on the profile. Much appreciated!!

The Last 24 Hours

Well, Sunday's pretty much it for all day studying. Monday is spent getting to the hotel, settling in, and doing some light studying and basically just trying to get a decent night's sleep. Today, I focused on some spot check review on Contracts (always afraid of it!!) and had a thorough review of Remedies.

I'm nervous.

I know the stuff in theory, but it's hard for me to memorize elements for everything. Reasonable, foreseeable, justifiable reliance, causation, intent...these words are in everything in some combination or another and it's all just kinda muddles together sometimes! Oh Lord, I pray it comes together in time!

Tomorrow, I plan on trying to complete a full on MBE from the Strategies & Tactics book. If I can't do all 200, I may settle for 100 because I'm also fine tuning and printing out my Hot Topics checklists/rules for each subject. I also have to do laundry so I can have my bar exam outfits clean and ready to pack.

Monday will be spent going over the checklists, doing a review of new CA subjects, and reading through some PTs. I'm going to listen to PMBR CDs on the 2 hour drive to San Diego. Well, this is the home stretch...good luck, everyone!

The Girl Who Passed

I'm in Harry Potter mode. Guess what, folks? I stayed up all night and read Book 7. Yup, some might call it crazy...and really, it's not that I couldn't wait a week, but it was because it was going to be everywhere and I didn't want the book ruined for me! So I thought, you know what? Screw it.

And for 7 delicious hours, I lost myself in the world of Harry Potter. And yes, I'm paying for it today. I slept a couple of hours, woke up, and have studied. I will continue to study and go to sleep at a decent hour, dead tired. And though I'm tired, I do feel like I can study. And hopefully, this will jump start my sleep schedule to something resembling normal before the exam. I'm really looking forward to going to bed and actually falling asleep instead of laying awake, tossing and turning while my brain races for hours on end.

I needed the escape. And the book? It was damn good. ;)

We can make this happen!

I don't think we can underestimate the law of attraction and the power of our subconscious. In my last post, the comments discuss the probability of reviewing a subject right before the exam, only to have it show up.

It's a matter of thinking smart, and thinking positive. We've all heard the predictions. We know that though the CA State Bar Examiners are a vile group, the stats are still helpful. Last time, people were predicting Evidence as a certainty. Sure enough, it was there. By honing in on a couple of subjects, especially on Wednesday night after 3 essays are out of the way, we have an excellent chance of predicting an essay and getting it right. Now, I'm no math whiz, but odds are actually in our favor that we can predict an essay and be prepared for it. Can you imagine reviewing Civ Pro like a maniac RIGHT BEFORE the exam, opening the test, and finding a Civ Pro question right there?! The sense of relief alone would do much for the psyche.

And of course, anyone's who's read The Secret or anything on the law of attraction knows that if we think it's gonna be on there, we're sending out waves that will make it be on there! And you know what? At this point, I'm all for it!

So, this is what I think is a "must" for the exam:

1. Professional Responsibility is always on there to some degree. Know it.

2. Remedies is almost always on there. Know it.

The above two are almost guaranteed, so we need to milk those points.

3. I'm thinking Civ Pro and Community Property.

Other things that I'm hearing a lot of buzz about are Corporations 10b5, Con Law defamation/invasion of privacy.

Thoughts?

One Subject at a Time...

Literally. One subject at a time. It's great. I know one subject, then I move on to the next subject, and then I know that subject...unfortunately, I've just forgotten the last subject!

So, if they test on only one subject, the one I happen to know at the time, I should be just fine.

Tylenol Simply Sleep

Well, this stuff sure works. I thought I'd try Tylenol's new sleep aid because my sleep schedule is out of whack these days. Many of us are sleeping late, waking up late, or unable to sleep at all! I'm concerned that due to this crazy schedule, it would be difficult to try and sleep at around 10:00 before the bar exam and ensure a good night's sleep.

So I thought I'd give Tylenol Simply Sleep a try. I took it around 12:30, and fell asleep at 1:00. It was pretty easy to fall asleep. I woke up in a groggy haze twice, and one time I had to use the bathroom. That's pretty typical, though I usually have to go to the bathroom around dawn, not when it's still dark outside. I was like a zombie. And then I proceeded to sleep until 12:00. That's right. 11 hours of sleep and I was still groggy when I woke up!

Luckily, the grogginess subsided and I wasn't sleepy during the day, but STILL. Two innocuous little blue pills (I guess they say the same thing about Viagra!) packed a lot of punch. I'm thinking maybe 1 would work best. Just to take the edge off nerves and help me fall asleep...

So there you go. My experience with Tylenol Simply Sleep. Do I recommend it? Yes, I think it works. I don't know if there's anything out there that doesn't give you that weird groggy feeling upon waking though, unless you take lower dosages. So I would recommend a lower dosage of this stuff if you're sensitive to medications, as I tend to be.

Civ Pro = Insanity

The more I read, the more panicked I get, because the more I realize how much I DON'T KNOW! Today's topic was Civ Pro. Important, because it's one of those hot topics to be tested this time around. I thought I knew it. But I thought wrong. Now tell me, is this correct?

A plaintiff sues defendant for personal injuries stemming from negligence. He can’t later sue for property damage arising from the same negligent act as the previous suit because of res judicata? Because res judicata bars an action arising out of the same transaction?

I'm losing my mind. Every essay I go through in civ pro, there are parts that I'm truly baffled by. This is not good.

Bling H2O!

How freakin' insane is this? It's $35 a bottle and all the crazies are flocking to upscale bars and stores in LA and NYC to buy it. You can, of course, purchase it online at www.blingh2o.com. I'm all for high quality water and pretty packaging (I'm partial to Voss myself), but this is kinda the ghetto fab of all water. It's decked out in Swarovski crystals, which I suppose is to meant to justify the ridiculous price. And honestly? It doesn't even look that good.

Which is not to say that I wouldn't take it if someone offered it to me. And yes, I'm a tad curious about how $35 bottles of water would taste. But I have not reached such levels of high maintenance that I think this is reasonable (by an objective standard...haha...law...). What's next? Charging for air? Oh yeah, we already do that...flavored O2 (aka AIR!) at oxygen bars.

I showed this picture to hubby, opened my mouth to make some scathing remark on the utter craziness of it, and was immediately cut off with, "Are you serious? You want to buy a $35 BOTTLE OF WATER?!"

Um, no.

I merely wanted to point out that it was funny, that it was another example of our indulgent and decadent society, and have a giggle about it. Geez. When I get offended and loftily remind him that no, I was just sharing a bit of news with him and EXCUSE ME FOR BREATHING, he snorts and reminds me that I like Voss and Fiji for their packaging.

I do not.

It actually tastes better than other water! And even so, I don't buy it often, because I have priorities and water, as long as it's clean, is water. My money is better spent on shoes.

But hey, this Bling H2o? Pretty funny. It's good to know that as we slowly lose our minds over this exam, we're not missing out on anything important.

Bring it on, baby.

I came across something today and it makes a lot of sense.

This bar exam?
I'm not going to pass it because people say that I can.
I'm going to pass it because of people who think that I can't.

Yeah. Nothing like a little disparaging underestimation to get the juices flowing. So think about the people who silently take glee (evil bitches!) in your failure, the people who have expressed doubt in your ability to be a lawyer, hell, the people who looked at you funny in the library...

And prove them wrong.

Lions and Tigers and Bears!

I was reading Frustrated Bar Examinee's latest post on the summary of the bar exam experience and it had me laughing out loud. But then it mentioned something about wild animals and that sent me into one of my lightning-fast mood changes, and I thought, "Oh my God. Wild Animals. WHAT IF IT'S ON THE ESSAY?" So I had to look it up. And for the convenience of those of you who may have panicked in this very same way, here it is:

Strict Liability for Wild Animals
An owner is strictly liable to licensees and invitees for injuries caused by wild animals as long as that person didn't do anything to bring about the injuries.

No Strict Liability for Domestic Animals
Unless he has knowledge of that particular animal's dangerous propensities that are not common to the species.

Strict Liability Not Available to Trespassers
Strict liability will generally not be imposed imposed in favor trespassers in the absence of the owner's negligence. However, a landowner may be liable on intentional tort grounds fo rinjuries inflicted by vicious watchdogs.

Now, we can all just calm down.

A Conversation that went Everywhere

Scene: Borders.

(Cell phone vibrates. It's husband.)

Me: (Quietly) Hi.

Husband: What are you doing?

M: What do you think I'm doing? I'm at Borders.

H: Oh. I'm home from work.

M: Ok.

H: I'm gonna go to the gym. Do you have to study tonight?

M: Yes.

H: What do you want to eat for dinner?

M: I don't know. There's stuff in the fridge.

H: Hey, did you pay my parking this month? I can't get out of the garage.

M: Um...I don't know. I don't think so.

H: Well, I can't get out of the garage!

M: Then go pay it!

H: Where -

M: It's the entrance on Randall St.!

H: Where's Randall?

M: The street directly behind us!! The entrance! It's the only one!

H: Oh. How -

M: Take the checkbook. It's on the desk, labeled, "Checkbook."

H: Oh, ok. (Sounds a bit defeated)

M: (Agitated) What's wrong?! Are you mad?

H: (Confused) No...

M: Because if something's wrong, just tell me! Are you not telling me because I'm studying and you're waiting to tell me after the bar so I'm not distracted? Because it makes me even more stressed out!

H: Nothing's wrong.

M: Just tell me now!

H: No, nothing's wrong!

M: (Somewhat calmer) Okaaaaay..... I guess I'll see you at home in about an hour and a half.

The tears cometh

Ah, yes. Right about now, everyone starts to cry. Usually for no apparent reason (well, aside from the obvious fact that we're taking a 3-day bitch of an exam upon which our entire careers hinge). Up until now, I hadn't cried, which is not to say I didn't want to, but just that it was always GO GO GO and I just sort of shoved it aside.

This morning, I woke up, and in my sleep induced fuzzy stage, recalled all kinds of OTHER things, things unrelated to the bar, things I've ALREADY DEALT WITH, and the tears began to roll. Had myself a quick pity session which inevitably included the bar. I picked up my Barbri essay book (located conveniently next to my bed) and read through a Contracts essay through my tears.

What a way to start the day off right.

I can't even think.

Today I ordered an Iced Soy Vanilla Latte at Borders and got a Hazelnut Latte. At least I think it was Hazelnut. I don't like Hazelnut, so I've rarely tasted it. I didn't return it. I just kinda tried to drink it. Why? Because I always feel bad returning food, because the people behind the counter seemed unfriendly, because I couldn't muster up the energy, and because I wasn't even sure what the thing tasted like. I figured it had caffeine and that should do the trick.

I find myself wanting to sleep 9-10 hours a day. Anyone else sleeping way too much? I do drag myself out of bed and feel okay an hour later, but this is odd. While I was working, I slept less than 8 hours and woke up super early. Of course, I hated it, but I did it and was reasonably ok. And this was only 1 short week ago.

In other news, the itching has stopped. I think all my products/washing have been working! But the dull, throbbing headache persists. Today is Contracts day, maybe that's it. You know, it all seems reasonably straighforward until you try to apply it to an essay. And then it all goes to hell. Do you ever just look at a Contracts essay and all these things run through your mind (like ooh, Anticipatory Repudiation, time is of the essence, impossibility, material breach!) but you have NO IDEA how to format it???

SIGH. Must continue on. Oh, for those who are interested, Sophia Kinsella is out with a new book under a new name -- Madeleine Wickham, I think? I don't really get it. I forget the title, but it's about a gold-digging but loveable gorgeous girl who meets rich men at funerals and develops morals along the way (and of course, finds love). Good for a casual study break!

Yes, I'm studying for the bar!

You know...I'm probably being hyper-sensitive, but I find it supremely annoying when people interrupt my studying to ask me, "Are you studying for the bar?" And it's always people who have already taken, and passed, the exam. I'm tempted to reply, "No, I'm just doing this for FUN." The ones who are currently studying for it know better than to interrupt a person who's strung out on nerves and caffeine. They know because they're going through it themselves. And if they do speak, it's usually just a weary acknowledgment that we're all in hell together.

What possesses the people who have already passed to want to bother the less fortunate?

1. Smug superiority. Let's face it, people can be assholes. And as lawyers, this character trait is bred and encouraged along with competitiveness. As alarming and saddening as it may be, the sight of us toiling away makes them feel better about themselves.

2. Complete ignorance and a desire to talk. They've miraculously forgotten the horror of bar exam studying and, fueled by yet another undesirable attorney trait of wanting to impart knowledge to the masses, want to share their "tips" with you. This reason is marginally better than the above, but still reeks of sanctimonious bullsh*t.

3. Maybe they're hitting on me. This displays an utter lack of game. Look at me. I'm studying. It sucks. You know it sucks. Unless you're going for the whole, "vulnerable-prey-let's-move-in-for-the-kill-while-it's-weak" approach, isn't it completely obvious that I'm not really looking for love right now???

You know, and I know, that when people are studying for the bar, the default approach is to let them have their peace. As with a wild animal, you may cautiously approach, but you let us sniff you out and IF, and only if, we display some sign of welcome, do you initiate anything. Because we're not stable right now. We've more than likely put aside our social grace. And our world consists of 14 subjects, none which involve your hilarious adventure trying to get your fans fixed at Sears.

Scalps & Starbucks

You know it's bad when you down 2 DayQuils, 2 Advils, and a multi vitamin but still can't shake the headache. You know the one. The one that comes at you with a dull throbbing induced by hours of staring at your computer screen.

Add to that and itchy scalp. I've mentioned the stress-induced itching before, right? It makes me shower very frequently, because I never feel "clean." I'm sure there are some psychological issues in there, but suffice it to say that the bar exam process makes me feel dirty. All that washing of my hair makes my scalp dry, but I can't stand not washing my hair every day! So I went to Sephora and spent $67 on a Rene Furterer intense scalp oil treatment AND a dry shampoo that's supposed to get me through the every-other-day-shampooing. The theory is that this combination will relieve my scalp and my obsession for clean hair.

And just yesterday? I was sitting in Starbucks, itching away, when I kept noticing all the pretty girls in their cute clothes and impeccable makeup breezing in to order their venti non-fat, skinny iced vanilla lattes. They were carefree, chatting on their cell phones, rummaging through their Louis Vuittons, and breezing back out the door, off somewhere fabulous. And I just sat there in my corner, makeup-free, in sweats, bleary eyed and itchy. I swear, they glanced over at me and shuddered before quickly looking away. You know how sometimes you see people and you're kinda embarrassed for them and can't really look at them?

Yep, that person is me.

I need to go to a less fashionable Starbucks. Back to Border's for me.

Not Too Shabby

Managed to do two 3 hour sets of work at the library and at Borders, followed by a couple hours at home. I have to break it up into pieces like that, or I start to itch (literally). I got through every single essay posted on the Cal Bar website (since like 2001 or something?) and listed all the essays. I'm typing up a list of the issues and the number of times they come up on the bar. Tomorrow, I'm going to write out the rule statements for each issue, by subject, and use that as my "Hot Topics!" cheat sheet on focus areas. I figure it'll be good for a general overview of important issues as well. I also tried to get through some Property questions, and am still muddling through them as a matter of fact!

Now, I'm going to type up my list and watch some "Where the Heart Is" (love that Wal-mart baby movie!) with husband and eat some sushi. The cold is still kicking in full gear but thank God, it's mostly congestion and occasional coughing. It's tolerable. I'm hoping to get lots of rest and nipping this NOW. Let's keep up the pace folks...the end is in sight. =)

Do or Die

Post-4th of July = Do or Die time in the bar world. There are fiery debates ranging in bar exam world as to whether we can pass this thing if we just focus hard enough now. Many say that after the 4th is when the "serious" studying begins while others insist that it should have begun a month ago.

The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle, depending on the individual. The key is to study smart and to focus. It's not about the hours we log in, it's about the deliberate way we choose to study.

Now, if only I weren't sick. I've been feeling under the weather for about a week, and now I'm just a congested mess. Must. Push. Forward! In good news, today was my last day of work until after the bar. Thank God. After being completely distracted and guilty, I can now focus my full energy on studying. And yay, I don't have to wake up at 6:30 anymore!!!

Happy 4th of July!

There's a nice feeling about everyone emerging from their respective bar exam misery and taking a moment to honor this most American of holidays. Even though my little cousin asked me who America was freed from oh so long ago and I had to think past BBQs and fireworks to recall exactly what this holiday was all about, all I know is that for me, the 4th of July is a time when friends and family get together in a show of unity and camaderie and enjoy the day. That, after all, is what America fought for -- the simple pleasure of enjoying life with those you love! To that end, we will overindulge in alcohol, food, and fireworks. How very American.

I love the summer in CA -- hot days followed by balmy nights, ice cream trucks, kids out on vacation, flip flops and light dresses...just the whole leisurely, idyllic pace of it all. I will try and do as many MBEs as possible, then head over to my uncle's for a sushi feast (odd, but yummy). Followed by a BBQ. I can't resist! I mean, this is what we're studying for, right? The most sacred of all documents? The Constitution of the United States of America? To celebrate the freedom of being an American? Freedom is not studying for the bar! The justifications will just keep on coming... =)

Take a moment...enjoy the day.

The CA Bar Exam Grading Process -- The Mystery Revealed

I just met with a former bar grader and well-respected bar tutor today, and she explained the mystery of the CA Bar Exam grading process. At last! Knowing this lies the key to success -- because you know what they're looking for. If you already know this, then hooray. If not, then read on...

1. The graders get together in small groups for what is known as a calibration session. They go through the essays and have to come up with the relevant issues, assigning point values to each of them. So you can get 15 points for discussing easements, 10 points for nuisance, and so forth, for a total of 100-110 points. It can exceed 100 points because graders can also assign "bonus" points. So this group of graders (who have already written out their model versions of the answers) subjectively decide on the issues to be graded on, and the points they will assign to each.

2. So each group of graders are different and the ranges and point values are different. The grading is determined subjectively by grading groups and your grade depends on the group your essay gets assigned to. The crucial point is that you have to do a little mental point tally when you read your exam. Note what the big issues are and work it. You can miss issues entirely and still pass if you pick up points on other issues.

3. Each grader is expected to grade 25 essays for appx. 2 hours a night and given boxes of 100 essays with due dates. You do the math. Many graders will procrastinate and realize that they have to grade all 100 in one night! So your essay is down to 1-2 minutes per read. I know this point has been beaten to death, but YOU MUST MAKE IT EASY FOR GRADERS TO READ YOUR ESSAY. Break it down into headings and organize it. They're not going to look for it. Even if you have it, they may not see it.

4. If you're not sure if something is an issue, use it -- but sparingly. Don't be completely ridiculous. I'm talking about Hearsay exceptions and things like that. Graders will not dock points if you throw in extra. Remember, they give you points for spotting the issues and analyzing them. So if you have it in there, at least you'll get some points.

5. Sometimes you'll get a ridiculous question that seems to have no tangible areas of law. Reason through it. Spot the issue, state a rule, and analyze it. Use common sense. Often, you'll stumble across the rule even though you don't use the official name for it through your reasoning. Hey, you still get the points!

7. If you don't know the answer, argue both sides. Remember, you get points for spotting the issue, and points don't get deducted if you argue the other side!

8. Don't forget the basics -- read the question THOROUGHLY and know what the call of the prompt is.

9. ANALYZE. Especially if it's a "big points" issue -- you want to really show the grader you know what you're talking about. Often, the difference between a 50 and a 70 is because of analyzation. They both spot the same issues, but the 50 does a cursory job on analysis whereas the 70 really works through it. Ask yourself WHY, and discuss it.

10. This exam is about being savvy in knowing what the graders want, not about knowing the law cold. Knowing the law obviously helps you think out , organized, well-reasoned answers. But if you don't know it cold, you can still write out a well-reasoned answer. Just read the prompt carefully, use the words in the prompt, and reason it out with common sense.

Let me know if you have any specific questions about the grading process. If it's not something we discussed, I can get the answer for you!

Hmm...

Do you find yourself thinking about absolutely everything else you need to do OTHER than study for the bar? I become positively obsessed. Today, I let the timer on my MBEs go on and on as I stressed about what I would take to the 4th of July party I'm going to.* And what I was going to wear. And what I needed to return at Target. And if I transferred funds to my checking account. I almost left Border's then and there to go do take care of these things. I think the mentality is that if I clear this stuff out of my head, then I can sit down and concentrate on studying. The problem is, it never ends. Every minute task looms in my head like a giant elephant in the room and picks at my mind as I ponder over the admissibility of evidence in an MBE question.

I think it's a sophisticated form of procrastination.

And unfortunately, the itching has started up again. I got up about 3 times yesterday, absolutely unable to sleep because the sheets and everything made me feel itchy. So now, I'm washing all my sheets. Again.

Another way to procrastinate.

* Oh, and that 4th of July party? I think I'm going with a really nice cake (I've been assigned dessert) and a fruit platter. I even bought a special platter from Target. It starts in the evening and will be over relatively early because, thankfully, people have work on Thursday. As such, I have the whole day to study. So I refuse to feel guilty...but I still kinda do.

Sunglasses, a Good Bag, and a Pedicure

I'll throw my hair up in a messy ponytail. Makeup is hurriedly applied, if at all. Flip flops, jeans, and a tank are considered fully dressed. Many things are a wreck, especially these days. But I can still feel human as long as I'm out the door with a great pedi, fabulous bag, and sunglasses on.

At a time when everything else is sliding downhill, it's important to feel human.

TGIF!

Happy Birthday Blondie!

Congratulations on running 10 miles, Blonde Blogger!

Just a couple of shout outs. =) As a follow up to yesterday, I don't know for SURE if I've been found out, but I know internet activity has been tracked. I actually don't care anymore, because I haven't said anything about the job, really, I'll be outta there soon, and I can always find a job that I enjoy much more.

TGIF, everyone. Seriously. I'm just so happy to be able to sleep in tomorrow. Is there anything more wonderful than the feeling of waking up in the morning, feeling frantic and wondering if you've overslept, then realizing that it's the weekend and you can sleep in??? Some exciting stuff to look forward to this weekend: Picking up my hemmed Paige jeans from the tailor, as well as my black Bermuda shorts. Original hems on the jeans, folks. It looks SO much better. Going to rent Casablanca on DVD. I've never seen it! I am the biggest romance junkie, so I have high expectations for this one. Yoga lesson on Sunday. Must. Learn. To. Relax. And finally, gonna get in a couple yummy meals -- mac and cheese and sushi? Not together of course.

And meanwhile, I will be trying to read through Civ Pro, Corps, and Evidence. And do a Civ Pro essay. And as many MBEs as possible. I do them in sets of 17 and review the answers after each one (that's how Micromash is set up). Then I have this word document set up like an ongoing table on split screen and I type in the rule in flashcard format if I missed the question or I got lucky. I plan on printing this out near the end and reviewing them. So far, the method seems to be working. I've hit Evidence, Crim Pro, and Property (a little) on the MBES. Afraid to do Contracts, but I will soon.

Here's hoping I hit the books hard this weekend!!

A Chilling Effect On Free Speech

I fear the integrity of my blog has been compromised. My anonymity may be no more, professionally speaking. I found out that my boss has been checking on my "blogging" activities, and while I understand his concern over this during work hours, I feel this is an invasion of my personal life. Now, I'm not certain over this (because after all, who really goes on some crazy investigation to determine which blog belongs to whom?) but even the thought makes me feel like my personal diary has been published with my picture in the Los Angeles Times.

This is used as an outlet for stress and general musing. We've all been able to alleviate tension in our respective lives by being able to express whatever insights and foolishness on blogs. And for some, the anonymous nature helps us to say what we may not ordinarily say for fear of being offensive or looking stupid.

Some of us use this as apublic tool to keep friends up to date and there's no need to be anonymous. Others use this as a way of saying things they would NEVER say if their identities were known. I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. Though I don't mind if people know who I am (some do), I mind mixing my professional life with my personal life. Although it was my own fault for going online at work and allowing records to be made, it also seems a bit invasive to thoroughly examine each recorded URL and try and ferret out information on my personal life.

I have no clear answers and I'm certainly not going to examine this further. I don't even want to go there. But suffice it to say that I am not pleased with any intrusions into my personal life, and I feel somewhat indignant at the fact that I can no longer be truly free with my words. Thus, I will no longer be referring to work in my blogs. I don't want to shut this down completely, because it's such a therapeutic outlet (and dammit, you're all a great group of support!) but I'll have to filter it. And since work is often a big source of stress in all our lives, it's a shame to have to suppress my ravings!

I mean really, doesn't it suck? It's so nice to have an unfiltered forum in which to release all the stress during this time, and now it's been compromised. Nothing is ever absolutely anonymous, I guess. So guys? Be careful at work. =)

It's Not Fair.

Amazingly, I've been doing somewhat well in my Evidence MBEs and scoring around 70% despite the fact that I haven't reviewed Evidence yet. I think it's because I studied for it at length last time, knowing it was going to be an essay. I didn't do so well on that essay though. Maybe the MBEs are a little easier, because if I see an answer choice, it jogs my memory and I can tell it looks right, but I have a hard time just pulling out the rules and writing about them in an essay. I don't know...but it makes me feel better about my Property score, which was a 35%!! I mean geez...I think I could have chosen all Cs and statistically scored higher than that.

I'm also going through Civ Pro. I'm not creating new outlines, but working on the ones I have and reviewing them. I never realized how much time making outlines took. This frees me up to really review the substantive material and really understand the concepts as opposed to simply memorizing them.

A friend of mine who is with a very well respected bar tutoring company is of the opinion that NONE of the new subjects will be tested next month. He says that it wouldn't be fair if people who failed last time fail again. His reasoning is that if they test the new subjects AFTER July, then everyone is in the same boat, with the same number of subjects to study. Well, unless you fail July again...NO!! We won't go there.

But really, are the bar examiners what one would call fair? Fair is not letting us go through law school and $150K in debt only to bar our only avenue of practicing. Fair is letting us take some damn water into a 3 day test. Fair is not testing Con Law Commercial Speech two exams in a row. And most of all, fair is not having a 36% pass rate!!!

The Reign of Terror

Oh Lordie...judging by the mutual panic and despair that are covering the bar exam blogs, we are entering into the home stretch as the safety of June wanes and the terror of July begins. Many say that the 4th of July is the turning point, and it's do or die time then. You know how it goes -- we start panicking and putting in the time a couple weeks before the exam and then moan, "Oh, if only I studied this hard for the whole month, I'd be so ready!" Well, let's not do that this time! Let us learn from our mistakes and at the very least, banish the regret of not preparing hard enough this last month.

To that end, I think it's important to eat well. Since most of us are sitting on our asses 8-10 hours a day (watching tv, sleeping, and studying occasionally!), we're probably not burning all that many calories, although those books ARE heavy! And despite the trips to the gym, we're simply not moving that much. And unfortunately, when I'm depressed, or studying, I like to munch. Bad, bad, bad!

Since we need food to alleviate the depression and keep our minds and bodies fit, I thought I'd compile a list of reasonably healthy, easy, and yummy meals/snacks to sustain us through the terror.

1. Pizza bread. My husband's concoction -- spaghetti sauce, low fat mozzarella cheese, and whole wheat English muffins. Throw it together in a toaster oven and you get a tasty and crunchy meal!

2. Lean Pockets. I'm into the whole crunchy, warm, cheesy thing, if you haven't noticed.

3. Green tea. Not exactly a snack, but really good for you, especially if you don't drink a lot of water and consume too much sugarey drinks, like I do!

4. Trader Joe's frozen soy corn dogs. Amazingly authentic and easy to make.

5. Trader Joe's chicken fried rice. Just pop in the microwave or oven.

6. Smart Puffs. A good alternative to chips, but only in moderation!

7. Dark cherries. They're good this time of year!

8. Bell Peppers. Red and yellow are sweet. Cut them up, put them in the fridge, and they'e a healthy snack.

9. Peanut Butter. On toast, english muffins, crackers, you name it!

10. Edamame. SOoo good for you! And tasty!

And of course, there are my vices: Taco Bell, fried chicken, and flaming hot cheetoes. And nachos. And Spam. We all need our happy food, but only once in a while...hmm...like maybe now...

Picking at my nose

Read it carefully: Picking at my nose, not picking my nose! You know how when you start studying, you sometimes get all caught up in some other, unrelated detail and obsess over it? I have a bad tendency to pick at myself as I study, and I relish picking off pieces of cuticle and dry bits off my face. Gross, I know. It's this innate inability to stop grooming myself or something. And when I'm bored (as I often am when studying) I pick.

So I found these small bumps on my nose, right on the bottom and on the side. Upon closer inspection, I see that they're itty bitty whiteheads. You can't even see them, just feel them. "They must come out!," I decide. So I proceed to squeeze and tweeze my way into my nose. And gouged out two small holes. The next morning, I had two bright red scabs that hurt on my nose that can't even be covered with makeup.

Now, I'm picky about my skin. If there's one thing I firmly believe, it's that no amount of makeup in the world is going to make up for bad skin. I use La Mer at night, and a Japanese day lotion with SPF even when I'm poor, like now. Good skin helps a girl pull off an effortless, bare make-up look that works well when one has no time (like now). And now I've gone and ruined it.

I have to wait for it to heal and go away. And hope that I can stop myself from picking at it in the meantime.

Hot.

It's very warm these days... Great weather for sitting out by the pool! I've done this a few times a week, after work and before studying. Tried to read out there too. There's something very appealing about sitting out by the pool while listening to the sound of rain on my iPod!

I've continued my Property lectures on iPod and am finishing up the CA Evidence distinctions on my outline (thanks Grand Poobah and Blondie!). I'm a little uncertain about Prop 8. Basically, it states that all relevant evidence is admissible except for the 7 exclusionary rules that they list in the outline? I'm a moron -- the language about "exempting" exclusionary rules reads like a double negative in my mind and confuse me!

This Weekend.

I went out Friday night AND Saturday night. And drank. In short, I've completed 17 MBE questions and listened to 1 Property lecture. And that one lecture was on Future Interests, which I decided I am NOT going to kill myself to learn. Anyone else feel this way about Future Interests? It'll be a couple MBEs and no essay....right? ;)

So anyway, I think I just felt like a lunatic and going out these past nights made me feel like I was doing something really daring...like leaving my family and job and running off to Italy with someone named Giovanni to live in his little Tuscan villa and drink Chianti all day...but I digress. My point being, I felt that apprehension and excitement of being a big risk taker, which just goes to show how much of a dork I am.

I hope everyone else has had more productive weekends and that you're maintaining the stress levels adequately. I feel tired, but have settled in to finish up CA Evidence. May the last remnants of this weekend be productive!

I can't help but wonder...am I losing it?

In an attempt to decompress and get past this whole studying apathy, I thought I should get a few get-away-from-it-all fun books to read while munching on something yummy. So, at Border's, I thought I'd exchange a book I bought before that I didn't want for some new ones. Using my rewards card. And gift card. Apparently, this was very difficult. And given my precarious mental state these days, I tend to overreact to situations.

Blawgin: Hi. I'd like to do an exchange. Here's the receipt. (Hand over old book and new books). Here's my Border's Rewards card.

Clerk: Whoa. One at a time!

Blawgin: (Puzzled) Um, ok. I'd like to do an exchange...

Clerk: I don't think we do returns over 30 days. This was about 35 days ago.

B: Yeah...well, this is an exchange.

C: I don't think I can do a return past 30 days.

B: (Frustrated, but trying to be nice) Well, it says here (pointing to back of receipt) that although you can't do a return past 30 days, you can do an exchange in the form of store credit at the book's current price.

C: Well, I don't know about that. Let me check. (Proceeds to cover microphone and mumble into it like some wannabe Secret Service agent)

Time passes...more time passes....line grows longer...impatient customers begin to mutter...

B: Excuse me, if you'd just look here, it says in the back that you can do an exchange!!

She ignores me.

B: Excuse me.

Ignores me.

Finally, an efficient looking clerk walks briskly by, with a pile of books.

C: Hey, can I do a exchange after 30 days?

Efficient clerk: Sure. It says so on the back of the receipt!

C: Hmm...does it? (Looks to me) I guess we can do it for you this time.

B: (Excuse me? Is she doing me a favor?! Is this not store policy?!) Gee, thanks. I also want to use my rewards card, coupon, and gift card.

C: Whoa, hold on. One at a time.

(SIGH)

My blood pressure just shot up recalling yesterday's incident. I seriously almost turned into a complete screaming bitch. Fear of bad karma and a need to return to this Border's were the only reasons that stopped me from doing so.

The world needs to be kinder to us right now. We cannot have these irritants, they throw us completely off. Other things that have made me want to hurt people?

1. My yoga pants were hemmed an 2 inches too long. Now, I have to take them back and wait again.

2. Every day, I have to face downtown LA traffic and people either cut in front of me or don't let me in at precisely the moment I want.

3. Husband is sick and he's breathing too loud and in my direction. He's going to make me sick.

4. My boss keeps giving me stuff to do every time our eyes meet. I'm afraid to see him.

5. I hate my hair.

6. People call me and want to talk.

7. No one calls me when I want them to.

I could continue, but it's appalling. I am turning into an unreasonable bitch.

Bye Bye, Trees

It took me about 10 tries to get this batch of envelopes printed for work. Mail merged envelopes that don't fit into the suggested printed margins suck. And for some reason, I kept putting a batch of envelopes in the printer the wrong way, thus printing it wrong, and having to start all over. And then there was the word that wouldn't print. Aside from the obvious pathetic-ness of my task, I just could NOT get it together. In fact, I've been unable to get it together at work this whole week. My boss had to tell me to pay more attention to details -- twice.

My inability to print envelopes made me quite upset. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head, ranging from self-loathing, "If I can't print envelopes, I sure as hell can't pass the bar," to "Who freakin' cares if the address is upside down. It'll still get there." But mostly, I've just been mildly depressed as I sat feeding envelopes into the printer.

A low-grade apathy has settled over me at this point. I need fear, adrenaline, and motivation in equal parts flowing through me the next month -- not an utter lack of caring. Yesterday, I watched Girls Next Door on DVD and thought that maybe I should've just died my hair blonde, gotten some plastic surgery, and dabbled in some acting/modeling/body painting career until Hef found me. That $150K into law school could have been directed into something much more lucrative, and a lot less depressing.

Hello, Alli!

Come on, now....

Ya'll know you're curious. It's the magical pill that burns fat!! It's all over the news, the bookstores, and even my husband has heard of it. My brother has actually bought stock in it. It's Alli, the only FDA approved weight loss pill!!

It sounded intriguing, and I happened to glance through the book while on a study break at Border's. We all want to lose 5 lbs*, right? And let me tell you, it's a lot harder to lose 5 lbs than it is to lose 50. No, seriously! If you're significantly overweight, the pounds will fall off if you try. But when you get down to those last 10 lbs, you completely plateau. You know on that Biggest Loser show, they lose like 20 lbs in one week! Yes, I know it's water weight and they're working their asses off, but my point is that it's difficult to get those last few pounds off.

Should I try it? It's like $60 at Rite Aid. And considering all the pills I'm planning on taking, in addition to the pill and my multi vitamin, on the recommendation of my fellow bloggers, I'm thinking no. You have to severely limit your fat intake, and really, the food at Border's doesn't allow for that. And should you fail, you get some really bad side effects:

- Oily gas. Oily gas! That means...wet farts. Oh, EW.

- Loose, uncontrollable stools. I mean, really, a big problem in the bar exam. That's just nasty.

- Other miscellaneous stomach problems. No thanks.

But other than that, it sounds promising, doesn't it? I'm curious to know how it's going to work out for people now that it's become this huge hit. Will we be seeing a lot of nastiness in public as the side effects kick in? Will I be looking warily at the person next to me eating a bacon cheeseburger, hoping he isn't on Alli?


* or 6, 7...15 lbs

Weird Moods

I've been waking up with dull headaches in the mornings. I remember this. During the last bar prep period, I downed a whole bottle of Excedrin Tension Headache. it was practically my breakfast. I normally do not take medication, just the occasional Advil. I also don't smoke, do drugs, or drink coffee.

Things change.

I now like drugs (legal) and have had two cups of coffee this past week. I have yet to smoke, and I hope I don't pick up that habit. Ever notice how habits change during this stressful time? The coffee started because I literally put my head down and fell asleep, drooling, in public at Borders. I woke up with a start, tried to massage out the creases on my face and ordered some coffee. I find it goes well with chocolate chip cookies. I also never really indulged in sweets either, but now...well...

I'm still an avid fan of green tea, but it doesn't give me that instant jolt that, let's face it, I need at this point.

Oh, and the sleeping? Punctuated by weird, disturbing dreams. Which leaves me in an overall disturbed mood these days...

California Rules of Evidence

A plea for help! I've just realized that my stupid Barbri long outline doesn't cover the CA distinctions in Evidence. ARG!! Does anyone have an outline or Barbri Conviser excerpt of the new rules that they'd be willing to share? I'd be happy to share any of my outlines in return...

I'm so annoyed! And I absolutely positively refuse to shell out another $500 for Conviser. I've already paid an obscene $200 for the long outline. Which means I would have paid $700 for two books! Husband says better to pay that than to fail the bar. Which is true, I suppose, but it's really a last, last resort!!

In other news, I've managed to score an appalling 45% in Con Law MBEs. Must pay attention to questions. Hopefully, you all are faring better. Maybe it's the heat. I can't seem to concentrate!

Progress?

I've managed to get about 30 MBE questions and the rest of my Civ Pro outline completed today. I kinda rushed though the end of it though, with res judicata and collateral estoppel. It was PAAAINFUL to get though Barbri's long outline on Civ Pro to get all the new CA distinctions. I hope the rest of the new subjects aren't as bad. The amount of detail is ridiculous. I mean, do we really need to know that federal rules allow x number of days for an answer and CA allows y? My rationale is that we need fine line distinctions for MBE subjects whereas essay only subjects, you basically need enough information to be able to bull%*&t.

Now I've gone to Trader Joe's and picked up a bottle of red, and am broiling a steak. I'm going to watch a movie, drink, and eat. And try to complete 17 more MBE questions.

Lululemon Rocks!

The Reverse Groove pants from Lululemon. I have them with the pink stripes AND they're reversible to be all black. Two pants in one! If you don't have them, or your wife/girlfriend/female BFF doesn't have them, you must go get them! Not only is it supremely comfortable, but they make your ass look GREAT. I'm serious. I've had people stop me in the street and admire my pants (or maybe it was my ass?).

In the world of yoga gear, Lululemon is my personal fave. It doesn't matter if you don't do yoga! They're the perfect bar exam wear. I just got two pairs of their Rehearsal pants and they are the most flattering, comfortable pants. Unlike the Reverse Groove, the Rehearsal pant features a completely straight leg and folds over on top to slouch sexily on the hips. They're not as tight either. I shall live in these pants as I study for the bar. You will recognize me at the exam as The Girl With the Awesome Pants that Make Her Ass Look Great.

For those of you on the quest to Total Hotness, these pants will aid you. It's casual, effortless sexy -- the best kind! After all, anyone can hooch it up in a mini skirt and a plunging halter with FMBs.

And this is related to the bar because (1) I listened to the PMBR cds on the way to the store, and (2) I will be comfortable and not distracted by uncomfortable clothing during my studying.

Check it out, and tell me these aren't the greatest pants!

Future Judge

I figured out how to upload a picture! And fixed the the annoying sidebar problem! Now, if only I can figure out how to pass the bar so I can become a judge, as illustrated by my brand spankin' new shirt from www.cafepress.com. How cute is that?!

There are all kinds of fun shirts on there for law students and bar takers. Like the famous, "I Own Blackacre" shirt and the ever popular, "Law School. Where social lives go to die."

Hilarious.

I guess being a homophobe can get you fired

Dr. Burke will not be returning to the cast of Grey's Anatomy next season. For many, this is old news! Apparently, he was said to have been very upset when he was informed that his contract was not going to renewed.

They set it up rather nicely when they had Christina return to the apartment after being jilted, only to find all of Burke's personal possessions gone. I wonder how they'll explain his disappearance? Will he embark on a journey cross-country to "find" himself? Or better yet, will he join Addison in Santa Monica?! That would be funny. And what about McDreamy? Will they no longer be reluctant, manly BFFS fishing together and exchanging wry, witty remarks about their respective relationships with their interns?

Although I believe his comments were inappropriate and downright mean, I do commend his efforts to redeem himself. Anger management classes, public service announcements, and numerous apologies seem sufficient. I mean, really.

At least he didn't call anyone a "knappy headed ho."

Civ Pro.

I'm finding it quite difficult to get the new CA info into my civ pro outline. I have the outline from the calbar website detailing what we need, but it's very extensive and detailed. There's no way this much detail was EVER tested on the bar exam! And then it gives us this mysterious statement about "emphasis on the areas where there are differences between the Federal Rule and the California Rules, especially those California procedures of pleading and practice that have no specific counterparts in the Federal Rules or that federal trial courts will look to in diversity cases."

Okay. The pleading rules that differ include a lot of nitpicky details like the time you have to answer a complaint or something. And I have to wade through piles of extraneous information in the Barbri long outline and try to extract the info. It's all very time consuming and annoying. Is there another way? What's everyone else doing?

P.S. I've messed up my blog. If you look at my sidebar, the links and stuff are all the way at the bottom. I have no idea what I did. Any computer/blog savvy people have any advice?

God, this is the "HELP ME" post.

What's Hot in Crim Law!

According to Barbri and other blogs, these are the hot topics tested in Crim law on the exam:

1. The mental states for crime in general, and the specific intent crimes with their particular defenses
2. Transferred intent
3. Accomplice liability
4. Inchoate crimes, especially conspiracy
5. Intoxication defense
6. Infancy defense
7. Self-Defense
8. All time favorite – Mistake of fact
8. Homicide crimes in general
9. In particular, the five defenses to felony murder
10. Distinguish between larceny, embezzlement, and false pretenses
11. Robbery, burglary, and arson

Having taken the exam before (oh, ha ha) and through my current MBE studying, I find this list to be very accurate. Hope it helps!

Should I buy a humidifier?

So I'm sitting at work, and I realize my nose is dry. It's been dry for a couple of days. I wake up feeling mildly uncomfortable. I feel like I don't have enough air in my room at night, but I don't have any windows to open, so I can't do that. Before you think, "How the heck does she not have a window in her room?!," I am not in prison with Paris. I have french doors that open onto a balcony, and I don't like to open those at nights because there are no screens and I am terrified of bugs and other creepy crawlies infesting my place.

I also have an air purifier I use to circulate the air a bit, but this may actually be more drying. It's just like a giant fan. So I was searching on Amazon and came across this adorable humidifer: http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/B000MR4IX6/ref=s9_asin_title_1-serq_g1/103-7609005-7407058?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0FDHCZYFSPBTXYK01198&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=278240301&pf_rd_i=507846

There is also this humidifier, which is more chic and probably more grown up:
http://www.amazon.com/Medisana-Hah1500EBP-Ultrasonic-Personal-Humidifier/dp/B000AF78KU/ref=pd_bbs_sr_4/103-7609005-7407058?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1181836492&sr=8-4

But I was just thinking how I'm going to spend less money, so should I really buy a humidifier? Do I need one? WILL IT HELP ME PASS THE BAR?!

My new schedule

I realized that my work schedule now is eerily like Barbri's morning schedule of lecture. Since I've already gone to those lectures and the info isn't BRAND new to me, I figure it's the same as last summer and working won't hurt my chances...right? So, with that in mind, here's my new schedule:

7:15-7:30a: Wake up, get ready, head off to work. I seriously get ready in 15 minutes. How I do this is explained below.

7:30-8:00: Drive to work while putting on some makeup. Listen to the morning show on the radio because I'm too bleary eyed and tired to listen to PMBR (hey, I just woke up 15 minutes ago!).

8:00-1:00: Work. Doze off. Look at blogs. Try to squeez in 17 MBEs. This is a hit or miss.

1:00-3:00: Drive home, listen to PMBR. Run any necessary errands and fix myself something nutritious yet tasty to eat. Pack a little snack, change into comfy yoga gear, and head off to Borders.

3:00-6:00: Study.

6:00-7:00: Come home, fix or buy dinner, and try to squeeze in a work out. I consider 30 minutes of working out a triumph.

7:00-9 or 9:30: Study.

9:30-10:30: Get ready for bed, some light flashcards and maybe something light to read just before bed so I don't have nightmares!

Ahh. If only it were this easy. Today, I've managed to do a set of 17 MBEs in Crim and scored about an 85%, which sounds excellent but is really inflated due to the fact that it repeated several questions I had already answered! I believe this is my fault, because I take the tests online and on my downloaded program at home. I also click "review questions later" from time to time which probably means they spit them back out at me.

Now, I really need to get going on incorporating the CA new subjects into my old outlines, as well as review one more set of bar exam past essays. But what I really want to do is watch television. Unfortunately, there's nothing on. Please tell me what's worth watching on tv these days! I've just ordered Girls Next Door Season 2 on my Blockbuster online account! 30 perfect minutes of mind numbing and pleasant study breaks.

Yesterday was a bust.

Yesterday was pretty much shot because I had to go to a graduation that was in the middle of nowhere. I tried to get some flashcard action going, and listened to PMBR both ways, but...it was a paltry study day.

The problem with being a repeater is that these concepts are not foreign to you anymore. You know the key terminology, and you just need to fine tune your understanding. So it's easy to kind of tune out when you're listening to PMBR or reading because it all looks "familiar."

I'm still trying to get in 17 questions at work. Then I do 2 more sets of 17 during the day. This time, I'm really trying to focus on MBEs. Like others, I've found Strategies and Tactics for the MBE to be very helpful. And so far, I really like Micromash. I like how it tells you what areas you're bad in, gives you the option to review the question later, and gives you your correct answers by subject and as a whole. I find it more difficult to go through the questions in the books because you have to flip back and forth and write. How lazy is that? But this way, I have the MM software on one half of the screen, and my word document for rules on the other. As I go through, I just jot down rules. Saves time.

It's just bar study in an increasingly impatient society.

Every day at work, I just wait for the time to go by. It's very tiring to get up so early, yet I know if I weren't working, I would probably get less studying done. I do feel that at this point, for repeaters, barring any crazy essay format issues or other deep rooted problems, we can put in massive effort and really kick this thing to the curb. I think for many of us, we're within inches of the finish line and it could have gone either way. It's funny, 'cause this time last year, I was a itchy nervous wreck.

Cuttin' Back

I've sold my Vera Wang wedding dress to fund my bar exam passage quest. How sad is that? Husband didn't want me to, but that's because he doesn't know how much the dress originally cost. When I bought it, I knew I would have to sell it to justify the cost, so it wasn't that terrible...I thought of it as an investment! I think of anything with a substantial resale value as an investment. Husband thinks my logic is twisted, because he says an investment is something you sell for more than you pay for it. Whatever. How often does that happen?

So anyway, we're all having to resort to fancy bookkeeping to take this test aren't we? I kind of think it's funny. Piles and piles of student loan debt, an expensive apartment, and selling of Vera Wang gowns...it's a chick lit book in the making.

SIGH.

Other ways to save money:
1. I don't drink coffee. Yes, you read that right. No daily addiction to Starbucks to gouge a hole in my bank account.

2. I use my Discover card rewards points to get a Border's gift card and use it to buy my tea and other treats as I study. For $20 rewards, you get a $25 Borders card! It's an investment.

3. There's no where to eat near work. So I have to pack my lunch. Although I have to buy food from the grocery store to do so, it's definitely cheaper than buying lunch every day, which my lazy ass would totally do if I could.

4. I eat at my grandma's and other relatives' houses. In the evenings, I meander over to people's houses for food. It's yummy. I also enjoy graduations this time of year. I usually get a great dinner out of it. Of course, I have to buy a gift and it usually cancels itself out, so that may not count.

5. Not going out has it's definite perks. Alcohol at bars are expensive!

6. Not buying new clothes because I'm not going out. All the stuff from before doesn't count. Starting today.

7. Selling books/sunglasses/shoes/bags/husband's things on ebay. Not so much these days, but whenever possible.

8. Downgrading the tv options...no more TiVo for now...BOOO...but with the summer hiatus, there's not much for me to watch, so that's good!

Overall, there are many ways to Cut Back since we're currently unable to Make More Money. And if I could PLEASE get my state tax refund (yet another grievance against the state of CA), that would be wonderfully helpful.

Just a quickie.

Leaving work now to go to the grocery store and stock up on my food for the week. Then I'll go to Borders or the library...I usually go to Borders but am thinking the library may be better. It's so hard for me to concentrate. I seriously think I have ADD. I beg my husband for meds but he won't get them for me.

Thank you, Paris!

For taking up many work hours yesterday morning as I refreshed TMZ over and over again and watched you being led out of your house in freakin' HANDCUFFS and then pulled screaming "It's not right! Mom, Mom!" from the courthouse as your ass was hauled back off to jail.

I hesitate to draw even more attention to this ridiculous trainwreck of a case, but it was good for an incredulous WTF?! yesterday, and I figure that when I look back on this blog, I'll be interested in the riveting current events of the time I was preparing to take the bar for the VERY LAST TIME. =) I'm just going to say these things about this case, and I'm not mentioning it again:

1. I think it's stupid she went to jail. Yes, she broke the law, but most people get house arrest or community service. God knows she could have done more good cleaning the side of the 110 fwy of its graffiti than wasting our money on private cells and 5 personal security guards in our overcrowded prisons.

2. That said, since she did go to jail, just SERVE THE TIME. It's like 3 weeks. I'd gladly trade 3 weeks of jail for 2 months of bar review hell as a repeater. She's by herself, it sucks and I would be totally scared too, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be for someone like her, but come on, what can she do? It would have seriously made her look so much better if she quietly did the time. People already think she shouldn't have gotten such a harsh sentence, so critics and fans alike would at least respect that.

3. She has a mental condition that allowed her earlier release? Are you freakin' kidding me? Um, yeah. I think all the prisoners have overwhelming despair and depression. You're in prison. It sucks. That's ridiculous. It was such a patently obvious case of preferential treatment that it rightfully infuriated everyone and made them hate Paris more. I felt sorry for her the first time she went in, but now, I'm like, just suck it up!

Obviously, my sympathy is at an all time low for people who seem to have it better than me right now. This includes Ms. Jailbird Hilton. How sad is it that I'd rather be in jail than go through this studying? But seriously, don't you think you would do it? Three weeks of jail for a guaranteed pass on the bar exam? I would. I'd use the time in my cell to work on my pilates and work out, emerging as a fit, toned, and tough licensed attorney!

But back in reality, I'm outside on the patio trying to work on MBE questions. On an unrelated note, do you think my employer can track the websites I go to if I delete the history? Just a little paranoid and want to be able to say what I want without having to censor. =)

The Results Are In.

I suck on the MBEs. I'm actually too ashamed to put it down here, for fear that it'll be real. Suffice it to say that I need to hit the Micromash software, hard. CalBar Blondie posted a comment about how the MBEs are very important, and I have to agree! I mean, I always thought so and all, but I get caught up in the whole, "It's only 35% of the grade" mentality. I got involved in this whole intensive essay tutoring thing last time and completely neglected the MBEs. As a result, my scores kinda plummeted. I think I did maybe a few hundred MBEs. The scale was much higher though, so my scaled scored seemed a bit bitter in comparison to my raw score.

On the bright side, my essay scores improved. I even got a 75 on the Wills question! And considering I wrote NOTHING about easements on Property, I was lucky to pull a 60. My evidence question was an all time low, coming in at 52.5, my lowest essay score ever. And I actually studied Evidence because I knew it was going to be on the exam. The never before seen format of the question completely unnerved me.

The sad thing is, if you combine my essay score this time, and the MBE score last time, I would pass! Yes, it took me a while to figure out the calculations, but I did it to cheer myself up. Remember in SAT II how there was the score choice option and you could pick your highest score? I would like to implement that option for the CA Bar!

Now, more than ever, I am determined to rock this thing. The past bar exam was notoriously difficult. I did not feel prepared and I did not feel good walking out (but one never really does, hmm?) . And I still scored in the 1400s. Which means I can do it this time around.

It's like being $1 short at the best sale of your life.

Back to Borders

It was like greeting an old friend. I love bookstores. I love books. But I've found it difficult to go into a Borders in the time between last February and now. I walk in, look at the people huddled over their laptops and books in the cafe, and quickly avert my eyes. I think, " I do NOT want to be one of those people again!," but I feel a strange solidarity with them anyway...

Not to be mean, (don't people always say that JUST as they're about to be mean?) but I've found out that some pretty unremarkable people have passed the bar. People I've known for years, people I've conversed with, people I've gone to school with. I'm not saying I'm better than them, but I know that they're not especially smart or quick or hard workers. Are they just especially...lucky?

Perhaps.

Or maybe they're harder workers. This is definitely my greatest downfall. I've been able to skate by on minimal preparation and bullshit my way through school pretty much all my life. My lazy brain is now thoroughly trained in the art of the "zone out" and picks through data to extricate only the most pertinent information. It seriously refuses to learn more. This leaves me thinking I know the law, but then when I see it applied in a real life scenario (i.e. MBEs and the essays), I may get it confused because I haven't thought it through to really understand. Because you see, this is not just rote memorization. We have to know how it's applied in real life! Obviously, right?

So far, I'm liking the MM software. I have a tendency to glance through the problems and pick random answers without really thinking about it (again, the lazy brain syndrome combined with a truly horrible lack of patience = failing the bar exam) but I'm scoring around 60%. I haven't read over my outlines or anything, so I figure with that and actually paying attention to the qs will bring me up to around 70%. Which is ok...

It's like I'm not studying for the bar.

It's hard not to lose perspectice during this process. Today, I was watching America's Next Top Model at work, and when Jaslene won, she was so ecstatic and all, "This is the best moment of my life!" and I thought, that must be what it would feel like to pass the bar. As if it isn't infinitely cooler and funner (and harder) to become a top supermodel.

I've filled two 3" binders with past CA bar exams and answers. I have yet to receive my scores!! I moved during the time I took it and results, and though I submitted a change of address, the CA bar, of course, sent it to my old address. And I can't ask for another copy until tomorrow. Or else wait like 3 weeks for the ever efficient mail forwarding system to work. So, I'm also trying to do the whole work and study thing, starting this week. I have to be at work by 8:00 in order to leave by 1:00. Today, I got there at 8:30 and left at 3:00. This is why I cannot work and study. I need the time allocation to be respected. I need to leave by 1:00, damnit! We'll see how this goes this week. I have this vision of myself going to sleep by 11:00, arising leisurely out of bed at 7:00, packing a tasty yet healty lunch, and being at my desk by 8:00, where I will spend an efficient morning working and getting some Micromash qs in, and leaving promptly at 1:00. Where I will then go home, change, rest an hour and eat a energy snack, and go to the library by 3:00. I will study until 7:00 and come home to eat dinner and rest and/or work out. I will study from 9:00 to 10:30 and then go to sleep.

Sounds like a good plan, right??